Saturday, August 7, 2010

a new beginning...

My story is simple, yet complicated.

I am a born again believer in Jesus Christ.

I am a wife to the most amazing man I could ever imagine.  We have been together since high school and my love for him just keeps getting stronger with each passing year.

I am the mother of two wonderful daughters, whom we adopted from Romania in 2002. Sarah and Dee are amazing, resilient, loving girls and I am so proud of them every day!

That is where it stops being simple and gets complicated:

I am a grieving mother.  Our sweet Grace went to be with Jesus on June 2, 2008.  I thought that her death would define me in the months following her tragic accident.  As a parent, you are never prepared to bury a child and nobody can ever be prepared for the heart wrenching pain that accompanies that tragedy.  It is a struggle to continue to live each day.  I have heard people describe themselves as numb, following the unexpected death of a loved one.  I wish that I had been numb. Instead, I distinctly remember every painful breath in the days and months following Grace's death.  Thankfully, her death has not defined me.  Through the grace of God, my husband and I have learned how to continue to live in hope.  Hope that we will one day see our sweet girl again and the hope that we can continue to help other orphans while still here on this earth. 

And, that leads me to our next adventure.  We are adopting again. We had always intended to adopt again and were beginning to consider it right before Grace died; however, after her death we needed time to heal as a family.  We now feel ready. 

My husband decided to start a blog immediately after Grace died to help himself with the grieving process.  He penned the term "Life with Grace" to reflect how our daughter Grace had impacted our life and how the grace of God would continue to carry us through.  It has been his mantra every since and he is now implementing an action oriented arm of our non-profit organization entitled "Live Life with Grace" to encourage others to do just that.

I was more hesitant to share my most intimate feelings with others at a time that was so full of raw emotions.  I guess I now feel ready to share my thoughts with you.  For, the truth of the matter is, Grace may be gone, but she is not forgotten. I learned so much from her in her short time with us on earth.  And, I carry those memories with me every single day.  I have thought of her every single day since her death and I will continue to carry her with me as we embark on this next adventure. Thanks for following me as I learn how to "parent with grace".  

1 comment:

  1. Teresa,
    As I read your blog I rember all that you did to help with our dear girl Maddie's funeral.I know as a Deconess it was your job, but it always made an impression on me. And all the care Bill showed My sister in-law Tia after a work. I am reminded on how the Lord does heal even the loss of a child. Although we never forget we can smile again and be used of God. Thank you for your Memories and heart. I pray for the work and ministry that God has lead you both to. And I pray for you as a MOm, wife and child of God. Rebecca Swan