Oh, today is full of SO many wonderful parenting moments that I don't even know where to begin. I was thinking of the title of my blog, "Parenting with grace". I wish I could say that every moment of every day is full of grace based parenting where I look at the wrongs that my children have done, put a sweet smile on my face, sigh and just praise the Lord for these wonderful blessings that He has given me called children, all the while showering them with hugs and kisses and gladly forgiving them for having wronged me in some way or another. If that is what you think of as "parenting with grace" then you are reading the wrong blog and I apologize. You may want to tune out right now.
Let's start with a little dose of reality....we are living in a foreign country, trying to homeschool our two oldest, while adapting to two new additions into our family...namely a 1 and a 3 year old. Let's just say it's been a while since we've been the parents of a toddler and a preschooler and we are re-learning as we go. We are both in the healthcare profession and we know all about growth and development, but reading books and having head knowledge never prepares you for the reality of living 24/7 with babies who crawl, put everything in their mouth, have potty training "accidents", have to touch EVERYTHING, and have no way of expressing themselves when they are upset other than to cry.
My morning started with a spunky 9 year old who decided to give me attitude over (I can't even remember what now). That led me to quickly realize that I needed a healthy dose of exercise! Thankfully, the management installed a new treadmill in the facility gym yesterday so I clipped on the iPod and had a healthy dose of 60 minutes of all consuming sweat accompanied by some head banging Christian Rock Music. That's always good for my soul.
Next, we got to experience the sheer panic of losing our second credit card in two days. The thought of being stranded in a foreign country with no access to our home based funds was cause for great stress. After a 30 minute man hunt (OK, credit card hunt) and tearing our two bedroom apartment apart we found credit card #1 stuffed in the cushion of one of the chairs. We also found some other very interesting items along with this search. It became apparent very quickly that we have a "hoarder" among our children. Hoarding is a very common phenomenon among institutionalized orphans. It is something that we have never had to deal with with our other 3 children, but we are now acutely aware that this is going to be an issue for one child in particular. About an hour later we found credit card #2 in the drawer where we keep our plastic bags. Oh boy! We need to watch this one like a hawk!
Not too long after the credit card hunt we had another child decide to "shoot" 4 hair elastics off the balcony to see if they would clear the pool. Needless to say, they DID NOT clear the pool. Guess who got to go swimming to retrieve said hair elastics? Normally, going swimming would be cause for joy for this child, but it seems that when you force someone to get in the pool against their will the "fun factor" of swimming loses its appeal.
This was all accompanied by a 10 year old who "forgot" that it was her chore to wash the lunch dishes for the 3rd time this week, a toddler who didn't get a nap yesterday and is still recovering, a husband who was gone all morning trying to deliver documents to the embassy, and trying to pack for a 4 night excursion that we are leaving on tomorrow.
I'm sure I'm leaving out many wonderful "events" in my day but these are definitely the highlights. And, when you put them all together along with all of the other stresses of life I have to admit that I didn't always handle myself with the most gracious spirit. But, isn't that what life is all about? Not being perfect, asking for forgiveness and learning from our mistakes. That is the grace that God our Father bestows upon us every second of every day. I am certainly undeserving of His grace but yet He continues to pour it down on me. And, what I can do in return is to turn around and try to give a little bit of that grace to those closest to me. I don't always do the best job at that, but I'm trying.
I'd like to think that this "parenting with grace" thing gets easier over time, but I think what I am finding is that the challenges don't go away...they just change over time. Thanks for walking with me on this journey.
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Friday, October 15, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Day Six in Uganda...Hannah
I am alone in our apartment with Hannah and Anita for the first time. Bill, Sarah and Dee all walked down to the local mall to get groceries and have a coffee date. Bill put Anita down for a nap before he left which left me here with Hannah. I closed my eyes on the couch while she sat on the floor playing with some toys. When I woke up she was sitting on the floor surrounded by a bunch of books which she had picked off the coffee table. She was sitting in the middle of them and would pick them up one by one and "read" them. She was turning the pages and talk, talk, talking while she did so. This was the most we have heard her say in 2 days.
She is making strides in many areas. This morning I was showing her her colors with some flash cards I had brought. I made a row with each color in it and would give her a new card and she had to put it on the right pile. Half way through the game she was repeating each of the colors as I said them and she could put them in the correct pile.
She doesn't say much but it is clear that she understands much of what we say to her. Bill and I had been talking about how we were out of matches and he said, "I know I saw some extra ones somewhere." Well, low and behold, when Hannah was looking through her books she picked up a box of matches and said to me "matches". Oh my! I was amazed to say the least.
Bill and I were remembering today how Grace was the same way when we first adopted them. She was very quiet for weeks after, but once she started talking it was very clear that she had been listening to everything we said and was just taking it all in. I have no doubts that Hannah is doing the same thing. She is very observant and watches everything.
She still does not go too far away from me and I can usually find her about 2 steps behind me at any given time. I call her "my shadow". She is still hesistant around Bill, but he is slowly trying to just be near her when I am around and helping her to trust him. We are in no hurry to force her to be uncomfortable as I'm sure she is already under enough stress as it is. She had fallen asleep withe me in the bed last night and then Bill switched with me half way through the night. We were delighted when she awoke this morning and did not freak out that Daddy was in bed with her instead of Mommy.
She also has a terrible cough at night time. She sleeps pretty well once we give her some Benadryl, but once she starts coughing again her entire body comes off the bed. She is a terrible wiggle worm and horrible to sleep with, but we realize that this is just a phase and we will get into a good routine of her sleeping in her own bed once she feels better and trusts us.
Meal time is still tough for her. We have found that it helps to eat on the floor so we have made family mealtime bearable by all sitting on the living room floor to eat with Hannah. She finally found her appetite and really seems to like hot dogs and fruit (neither she or Anita were crazy about macaroni and cheese for lunch).
She had her first shower with mom last night and did well. She does not like the water in her face and kept wiping her eyes. I was reminded of Grace who used to do the exact same thing. What sweet memories.
We were told when she came that she was not fully potty trained and definitely was not at night. She did wet her pull up the first night but since then we have had no accidents and she has even told us a couple of times when she needs to go "potty".
She went for her first "swim" today. It was actually just walking around in knee deep water and passing a ball back and forth but she did well with being splashed and didn't seem to mind the water (as long as mommy was right there with her of course).
She is very industrious and always seems to have a "plan" when she plays. She is diligent in working at something until she gets it right. She was trying to put the rings on Anita's Fisher Price ring holder. She tried it over and over again until she got the right order.
She loves her baby doll. We brought two small black baby dolls that Bill's mother bought last Christmas. Hannah loves her "baby" and takes her with her wherever she goes. She also found Sarah's Connie the Cow today and I think we may need to go out and buy her a stuffed animal so that we don't have any fights over poor Connie.
All in all, Hannah is doing very well. She is adapting to her strange surroundings and the white people who are with her all the time now. She loves her little sister, Anita. She is a very sweet little girl and when she flashes her smile it is absolutely contagious. You can't help but smile back at her.
We heard today that we have a tentative court date on October 1st for her. We won't know for sure until the paperwork clears with our lawyer tomorrow. Please continue to pray that this will work out because if we don't get a court date in October then it won't be until December!!!!
She is making strides in many areas. This morning I was showing her her colors with some flash cards I had brought. I made a row with each color in it and would give her a new card and she had to put it on the right pile. Half way through the game she was repeating each of the colors as I said them and she could put them in the correct pile.
She doesn't say much but it is clear that she understands much of what we say to her. Bill and I had been talking about how we were out of matches and he said, "I know I saw some extra ones somewhere." Well, low and behold, when Hannah was looking through her books she picked up a box of matches and said to me "matches". Oh my! I was amazed to say the least.
Bill and I were remembering today how Grace was the same way when we first adopted them. She was very quiet for weeks after, but once she started talking it was very clear that she had been listening to everything we said and was just taking it all in. I have no doubts that Hannah is doing the same thing. She is very observant and watches everything.
She still does not go too far away from me and I can usually find her about 2 steps behind me at any given time. I call her "my shadow". She is still hesistant around Bill, but he is slowly trying to just be near her when I am around and helping her to trust him. We are in no hurry to force her to be uncomfortable as I'm sure she is already under enough stress as it is. She had fallen asleep withe me in the bed last night and then Bill switched with me half way through the night. We were delighted when she awoke this morning and did not freak out that Daddy was in bed with her instead of Mommy.
She also has a terrible cough at night time. She sleeps pretty well once we give her some Benadryl, but once she starts coughing again her entire body comes off the bed. She is a terrible wiggle worm and horrible to sleep with, but we realize that this is just a phase and we will get into a good routine of her sleeping in her own bed once she feels better and trusts us.
Meal time is still tough for her. We have found that it helps to eat on the floor so we have made family mealtime bearable by all sitting on the living room floor to eat with Hannah. She finally found her appetite and really seems to like hot dogs and fruit (neither she or Anita were crazy about macaroni and cheese for lunch).
She had her first shower with mom last night and did well. She does not like the water in her face and kept wiping her eyes. I was reminded of Grace who used to do the exact same thing. What sweet memories.
We were told when she came that she was not fully potty trained and definitely was not at night. She did wet her pull up the first night but since then we have had no accidents and she has even told us a couple of times when she needs to go "potty".
She went for her first "swim" today. It was actually just walking around in knee deep water and passing a ball back and forth but she did well with being splashed and didn't seem to mind the water (as long as mommy was right there with her of course).
She is very industrious and always seems to have a "plan" when she plays. She is diligent in working at something until she gets it right. She was trying to put the rings on Anita's Fisher Price ring holder. She tried it over and over again until she got the right order.
She loves her baby doll. We brought two small black baby dolls that Bill's mother bought last Christmas. Hannah loves her "baby" and takes her with her wherever she goes. She also found Sarah's Connie the Cow today and I think we may need to go out and buy her a stuffed animal so that we don't have any fights over poor Connie.
All in all, Hannah is doing very well. She is adapting to her strange surroundings and the white people who are with her all the time now. She loves her little sister, Anita. She is a very sweet little girl and when she flashes her smile it is absolutely contagious. You can't help but smile back at her.
We heard today that we have a tentative court date on October 1st for her. We won't know for sure until the paperwork clears with our lawyer tomorrow. Please continue to pray that this will work out because if we don't get a court date in October then it won't be until December!!!!
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